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Leaveittomama.com/blog

Myth 104: You will always be “in love” with your child.

6/20/2014

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Remember when you were sending out adorable pics of your newborn, texting everyone in your life with the caption “I AM SO IN LOVE”. Well, that ends.

This post is from me as a mommy, not a therapist. Although, I recently asked myself, “Have I ever been or am currently even really a therapist? Because a 3 year old is successfully playing mind games with me.” After two weeks of constant boundary pushing and limit setting by my dear daughter (which included a full evening of top-of-the lungs screaming, crying, and kicking from summer camp pick up to bedtime; and mommy locking herself in the bathroom to “collect” myself), this was my morning two days ago:

3: Can I take my makeup to school?
Me: No
3: *falls out and throws her back on the floor* 

3: Can I put this makeup on my cheeks?
Me: When you get home
3: *falls out and throws her back on the floor* 

3: Is it splash day at school today?
Me: No, that’s tomorrow.
3: *falls out and throws her back on the floor* 

3: I don’t want to go to school.
Me: You are going to learn.
3: I don’t like to learn.

Me: Well you can go and play outside with your friends.
3: I don’t want to go play outside. I don’t like the sun.
*falls out and throws her back on the floor* 

Me: Get in this car, now!
3: I can’t – I need help walking.

After four fall outs before leaving the house, I finally dropping her off (I actually stopped and took her out instead of doing a rolling stop as I had envisioned). I realized that this particular day, this particular week – I am not in love with my daughter. I LOVE her, but I’m not “in” love. As a start to feel guilty about that, I remind myself that she probably feels the same way about me right about now - and that’s okay. We have a lifetime together ahead of us and each day won’t be as precious as those newborn moments but I love her just the same if not more.

A good friend told me: “no one tells you about this part of parenting” and she’s right. But it’s not because they are intentionally trying to hide that but when they share their sentiment about parenthood the reflexively share what they truly feel – the love, the responsibility, and their child’s beautiful face.

When faced with the angst of being tested by your dear pooh; that beautiful face will resurface and you will fall IN LOVE all over again…while looking over them as they sleep (why do they look so innocent then?).

Psychology of motherhood: Mommy -  14,745         Baby -  0 

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Our Guest Blogger, Cherrell Thomas, is a professional counselor, licensed by the state of Georgia and certified by the national board of counselors. With over 7 years in the field, Cherrell has experience in multiple areas of mental health.

Through her private practice, HELPFUL THERAPY CENTER LLC, she promotes the power of inner resiliency and encourages her clients to define their own "happy". However, she may have met her match in her three year old daughter who is teaching her everyday about life, parenting, and the struggle for sanity.

Follow along as we uncover the myths in a candid conversation, only a Mama can identify.

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